My Write Road - SL Baum

... MY WRITE ROAD - S.L. BAUM ... I am a mother, a wife, a former teacher, and a writer! Crafter, baker, taxi driver.......

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Hot button topic of the day that has me shaking my head... tight pants!

So there have been a bunch of blog posts, articles, FB posts, tweets, etc in the past week that have caught my eye... about tight pants... in particular leggings (and yoga pants). The first blog post I read was written by a woman saying that after her husband told her it was hard for him not to look at other women in leggings, she asked him if other men were looking at her with want (or lust) and he said that they probably were, so she decided never to wear them again in public because she didn't want to cause those thoughts. She also stated that she only wears them at home now, with a shirt long enough to cover her rear end. < - - - I'm trying to figure that one out... not quite sure how letting her husband see her backside (with leggings covering it) is something to avoid... I'm pretty sure he's seen her naked, in panties, in a swimsuit... but I guess that's not for me to figure out. The other thing that was in that post was quote from a man stating that women wearing leggings might as well be naked, and that the pants were designed to entice desire in men. **EDITING TO ADD** I apparently read the sentence wrong in her blog - she said she wears them at home OR out in public only if her shirt is long enough to cover her backside. I'm so glad I reread it. That makes so much more sense. AND, I agree with her (for the most part) about the covering the bum thing. BUT, I have no problems running errands in my work-out gear. My convenience is WAY more important that me worrying about whether or not some guy is staring at my booty as I shop in Sam's club, or pick my kids up from school!

After her post went viral everyone else started weighing in... opinions flew... I have my own (obviously - we all do) and I am going to start out with this: if that woman doesn't want to wear legging anymore it is entirely up to her. Thankfully, we live in a country where our dress isn't really restricted (unless blatant nudity is involved). We don't have decency police employed to run around making moral judgements and arrest people based on their wardrobe... and I'm glad I live somewhere where we all have that freedom. Of course there are always people making moral judgements (usually in their own heads) on the clothes others wear. Every. Single. Day. Sadly, most people are wired that way. Judgements, judgements, judgements.

I've shared some of this with my teen girls, and what I want them to take away from this is that they are not responsible for the lustful thoughts of the male population (or the female one for that matter). My girls can wear legging all they want, I wear them too (and I'm in my 40s - I offer no apologies). But, yes, I prefer that they have a shirt long enough to cover their rear.  I really do not want them to walk through life trying to make sure other people stay on a moral path... they have their own path to worry about.

But the main thing that struck me throughout reading all these blog posts (and responses) was that - THIS IS NOTHING NEW! Tight pants have been around FOREVER. For decades - many, many decades. Short, long, somewhere in between, women (and men) have been wearing tight pants. Why all the buzz and fuss to start out 2015??

Lets go back to the 90s
Spandex pants in 3 lengths - long pants, capris, and shorts!
Actually the biker shorts thing was HUGE - men and women both got into it!
If a woman wearing spandex shorts "might as well be naked"
then a man in biker shorts leaves little to the imagination!

And a little farther back - the 80s
Okay - so there were a lot of women wearing "leggings" in the 80s - but the boys
of glam rock almost had the girls outnumbered! And it wasn't just the actual
rockers, the male fans did it too. AND, I must point out,
this group is STRYPER - a christian rock group.

Okay here's the 70s

These aren't exactly legging, but they are the tightest satin pant
(possibly in the world - yes, that's sarcasm). I mean, look at their crotch area! 
Wow! I would have looked horrible in those. I'll keep the non-shiny, stretchy, 
forgiving material of my leggings - thank you!

And back to the 60s
A long sweater, leggings/tights, and boots - that was an outfit - and still is!
And it looks amazing on her, and I recently wore something quite similar,
and I looked pretty darn good as well.

The little girls below, ummm, pants were optional back then??
Actually - little girl sometimes wore SUPER short dresses & nobody cared!
This was 1970 - tail end of the 60s - gateway to the 70s. 
They look adorable. 

And the 50s
Audry Hepburn, style icon. Body hugging outfit from top to bottom!

The 40s
Sewing pattern... the shorts aren't super tight, but paired with that top...
I'm thinking somebody had some lustful thoughts.
I was even able to find a similar outfit!

Lastly the 30s 
TIGHT, tight, tight. And with how short they are, nothing is
left to the imagination (as they say - actually I just did - up there).

Earlier than the 30s, I'm stuck with looser pants, but I can find short dresses. Don't even get me going with the bosoms of certain eras... talk about exposed! I was trying to focus on the tight pants side of this argument... so that's where I stopped. If I just went for the clothing that could possibly cause others to think impure thoughts, I'd have to put up a pic of every single article of clothing ever made. Because people have had desirous thoughts about other people since animal hides were first used to cover the body, and threads were first woven to make cloth! I could put on the baggiest, most unflattering outfit every made, and there would be somebody who would look at me with desire. That doesn't just go for me... that goes for any woman (or man). Sexual thoughts happen, regardless of wardrobe... in my opinion. But that's just my opinion, everybody has one!

Last one: 1701 
Look away, my female (and male) friends, keep your thoughts pure.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Doing your job correctly has become "NEWS"

I like to browse through the stories on Yahoo... and for quite some time now, I've noticed that it has become noteworthy when someone does what they are supposed to do. The media bombards us with negative stories so much that acting appropriately and using logic is now something to shout from the rooftops. My moral compass is working - please reward me - or at least give me some attention for it!

Someone returns a wallet with $$ - WooHoo!
A guy getting booked helps a police officer that has collapsed - Shocking!
Teaching your children that it is wrong to steal - This deserves a pat on the back!

The last one made me stop and read the article and then the comments...
ARTICLE HERE: The most important lesson I've taught my son so far
In short: Her son stole a toy from a store, she brought him back and made him go up to the counter to admit what he'd done and pay for it. Shocker alert... almost every one who commented on the story said that their parents had done the same to them when they had taken something when they were little.

Guess what. I did the same thing. My eldest took an angel pin from a bookstore, and then showed it to me when we got home. I told her it was wrong and that we needed to make it right, and then I drove right back to the store. She brought it up to the counter, to return it and admit that she'd put it in her pocket. The lady at the counter told her that she shouldn't have taken it, and then thanked her for returning it. Did my daughter learn a lesson? I think so. My youngest took a golf ball from a museum in another city. When I found out, I made him sit next to me while I called the gift shop and told them what he'd done. Since it was silly to mail back the golf ball, we settled on mailing a check instead. My boy and I talked about it, he wrote a note to say he was sorry, and then we put the envelope in the mail. Did he learn his lesson? I hope so. But that's all we can do as parents; lead by example, have open and honest conversations with our children, and hope that they learn something along the way.

Children need to be taught right from wrong. They need to know that their actions have consequences. Children need to learn that they need to admit their mistakes and right them (if at all possible). It is our job, as parents, to teach these things. I didn't take the job hoping for brownie points, ribbons, and trophies.

Yes, I know that there are lots of bad parents out there. No part of me believes that reading that article on Yahoo is going to be a lightbulb moment for anyone. "Oh, I'm not supposed to let my child get away with stealing?" EVERYONE knows that stealing from a store is wrong (even the kids - or they wouldn't show us the item with guilt in their eyes), but some people make the choice to do it and somehow justify their actions. The fact that they feel the need to justify it proves that they know it is wrong to begin with. EVERYONE knows that telling a bold faced lie, cheating, and intentionally harming someone is wrong. There is a basic moral code that we have as human beings - which has nothing to do with cultural norms - and unless there is a medical reason (a kink in the brainwaves) - it is a conscious choice to do wrong.

Was that the "Most important lesson" I've taught my kids - wow - I sure hope not. And to give the author of the Yahoo article proper credit - she said "most important lesson so far." That's so true, we will constantly be teaching them lessons and I don't think I'll ever know what that most important lesson will be. My children will figure it out when I am no longer there to teach them. Until that time comes, I will be the best example I can be... and admit the mistakes I make along the way.

Please deposit brownie points below - I'm quite sure I deserve them ;-)